Swung out of that mood now. This sure is a crazy ride! Haha. Teen years. And all that.
Sorry for the unpleasentness!
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Taking on a defeatist attitude lately...
(not filtering this post for language. if that bothers you, go read another blog, k!)
If you hadn't noticed, I like things that make me feel. Emotion is pure. It's what there is to live for. It's all there is. But there's not enough of it.
I guess I'm getting dangerously close to the "emo" philosophy here. But fuck it. I'm not like those morons and I know it. They like to wallow in their emotions, I like to wallow in mine, but the thing with them is, they make theirs up. They're petty, snivelling brats who think its a crisis when their 2-week crackwhore girlfriend doesn't "love" them.
I'm rather goddamn depressed, have been for a long time now, but I'm not going to dye my hair black over it. Fucking stupid pricks. Making me feel guilty about myself.
In any case, the world is a gray, boring place. Boring as all hell. People like fiction because it gives them something to feel over. They might not all admit it but they'd love to live in someplace fictional. Stuff happens there. Lows are meaningful, and make the highs all the better. All there is here is the same old predictable bullshit. You work, you consume, you die. All the while, you want to entertain yourself. No one knows why they can't manage "true" happiness. It's because nothing happens to allow it.
What's the best thing that happens in the average life? Marraige to whoever will become the decaying sex-friend and financial partner? Gathering of riches used to buy artificial entertainment? Maybe it's when you finally get out there and muder someone. Who the hell knows!
(not filtering this post for language. if that bothers you, go read another blog, k!)
If you hadn't noticed, I like things that make me feel. Emotion is pure. It's what there is to live for. It's all there is. But there's not enough of it.
I guess I'm getting dangerously close to the "emo" philosophy here. But fuck it. I'm not like those morons and I know it. They like to wallow in their emotions, I like to wallow in mine, but the thing with them is, they make theirs up. They're petty, snivelling brats who think its a crisis when their 2-week crackwhore girlfriend doesn't "love" them.
I'm rather goddamn depressed, have been for a long time now, but I'm not going to dye my hair black over it. Fucking stupid pricks. Making me feel guilty about myself.
In any case, the world is a gray, boring place. Boring as all hell. People like fiction because it gives them something to feel over. They might not all admit it but they'd love to live in someplace fictional. Stuff happens there. Lows are meaningful, and make the highs all the better. All there is here is the same old predictable bullshit. You work, you consume, you die. All the while, you want to entertain yourself. No one knows why they can't manage "true" happiness. It's because nothing happens to allow it.
What's the best thing that happens in the average life? Marraige to whoever will become the decaying sex-friend and financial partner? Gathering of riches used to buy artificial entertainment? Maybe it's when you finally get out there and muder someone. Who the hell knows!
Saturday, November 25, 2006
So, yes, there is a new person in here, the one Evangeline mentioned. She's a nice girl. Confident through her liberation, but she still likes to keep things simple. It's impressive, really. Infinite possibility presents itself to her, and she nods in appreciation but mostly sticks with her normal life. Except when I'm around. Heh. I'm soo cheesey. She'll need a pseudonym, I think, bit like Sue. Don't know what she'd write about, mind you.
Also, Yuki's revised her ideas of how the multiverse works somewhat. I'm sure she'll be explaining that soon. It's just that lately I've not been in the mood to keep this thing up. This post is an apology to anyone who actually read it regularly. It'll come back. But really, we write this for ourselves, and in some cases, for each other. This isn't to say we don't want people reading it, that's the whole point of a blog. But still. You know what I mean.
In the meantime, go listen to Khonnor's album "Handwriting," why not? It's fantastic.
Also, Yuki's revised her ideas of how the multiverse works somewhat. I'm sure she'll be explaining that soon. It's just that lately I've not been in the mood to keep this thing up. This post is an apology to anyone who actually read it regularly. It'll come back. But really, we write this for ourselves, and in some cases, for each other. This isn't to say we don't want people reading it, that's the whole point of a blog. But still. You know what I mean.
In the meantime, go listen to Khonnor's album "Handwriting," why not? It's fantastic.
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Monday, November 13, 2006
Hey! Art!
www.daysinaday.com
Nice, this. A self-contained gallery of individual interactive digital pieces of art, all adding up to something in itself very perplexing, compelling, and emotional.
Perhaps early signs of a new mainstream artform.
Something for all 11 of us in there!
Nice, this. A self-contained gallery of individual interactive digital pieces of art, all adding up to something in itself very perplexing, compelling, and emotional.
Perhaps early signs of a new mainstream artform.
Something for all 11 of us in there!
Thursday, November 09, 2006
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
An adult man might meet a woman he knew in high school by coincidence one day. Maybe he'd laugh and say "You know, I had something of a crush on you back then." The awkwardness would be noticed but unplaced and laughed off.
Somewhere along the line they started thinking that they are no longer the same person as they were "back then." The man's old crush no longer matters to him. He doesn't feel that it ever really did. He's not a man who used to have a teenage crush, he's a man who's an authority on the thoughts he had as a teenager.
But back then the crush, as unimportant as it may have been in the "bigger picture," was comparable to a consuming obsession in an adult. Teenagers have less space to feel emotions, and thus what is felt becomes much more serious. At least this is how I've started to think it works. I won't know until I become an adult myself.
But then it won't seem like some mystery's been solved. I'll lose interest in my teenage thoughts. Like I'm going to lose my ability to think this way. Time is pulling my mind along and sooner or later it's going to surrender my ability to get wrapped up over nothing, to reject society in a way which I'll start to see as silly, maybe even to beleive in my imagination. I'll die and be replaced by someone realistic.
I hope I'll at least miss this.
Somewhere along the line they started thinking that they are no longer the same person as they were "back then." The man's old crush no longer matters to him. He doesn't feel that it ever really did. He's not a man who used to have a teenage crush, he's a man who's an authority on the thoughts he had as a teenager.
But back then the crush, as unimportant as it may have been in the "bigger picture," was comparable to a consuming obsession in an adult. Teenagers have less space to feel emotions, and thus what is felt becomes much more serious. At least this is how I've started to think it works. I won't know until I become an adult myself.
But then it won't seem like some mystery's been solved. I'll lose interest in my teenage thoughts. Like I'm going to lose my ability to think this way. Time is pulling my mind along and sooner or later it's going to surrender my ability to get wrapped up over nothing, to reject society in a way which I'll start to see as silly, maybe even to beleive in my imagination. I'll die and be replaced by someone realistic.
I hope I'll at least miss this.
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